Become Your Own Hero
by: Zachary Lee
When you think of all of the different stressors, distractions and images of perfection that social-media posts provide today, it’s easier than ever to get sucked into the world of comparing yourselves to others. You see people with better jobs, more money, nicer cars, better bodies, and the list goes on and on. Their lives and their accomplishments seem perfect. Because they’re snapshots.
The question I have for you is how do you begin to push out feelings of being ungrateful and less-than? How can you begin to fill yourself back up so that you squeeze out those negative thoughts?
My answer - become your own hero.
What Would Your Older, More Successful Self Tell You
When Matthew McConaughey won his Oscar for Dallas Buyers Club in 2015 his speech was inspiring. He first thanked his mother for teaching him to respect himself so that he could then go out and respect others. He thanked his wife for her unwavering support and love that she showed him every day and with that love and support he felt inspired to go out and be his best-self to find work, and do a good job. And then, he thanked his hero. McConaughey told the audience that when he was a young man that someone asked him who his hero was, and his response was that he didn’t know. So he thought about it for a few weeks and then went back to the older person and said that his hero was himself, 10 years from now. And throughout his life, McConaughey has said that every day he has been chasing his better-self. He’ll never catch his hero of course, but the path that he follows on a daily basis to achieve his best-self is his constant motivator to keep pushing to be a better version of who he is and who he can be.
“When you undervalue what you do, the world will undervalue who you are.”
-Oprah
I remember watching him say those words and being dumbfounded by how much belief he had in who he was. Wouldn’t it be incredible to have an unwavering belief in who you can be? No matter the missteps or mistakes that you’ve made in the past, you had the belief that it was simply the learning process in you becoming unstoppable? McConaughey, without a doubt, would bet on himself every time and it’s a goal worth striving for all of us.
Confidence
In order to be able to bet on yourself every time it takes confidence. It takes daily, habitual practice of you stepping into your proverbial fire and showing courage, bravery, and belief that you can figure it out. Sure, you’re going to make mistakes, fall flat on your face, but confidence only comes from being able to say that you’ve been in this position before, you’re familiar with “that” feeling, and from there you begin to feel confident of your next move - whether right or wrong. Because you’re going to make mistakes. Superman, Superwoman, Batman, Batgirl all made mistakes when they thought they were making the right move and you will too. But they became heroes by consistently rising to the occasion and learning how to be better in the face of adversity.
“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
– Howard Washington Thurman
I remember the first time I had to give a speech in college. To this day, it is one of the most painful memories I can recollect. Afraid, unprepared, and insecure about what others would think of me I failed miserably. But, even though I failed I realized that eventually, I could get better. Over time, I’ve now had the opportunity to speak 100’s of times to groups of people in seminars and my fear of public speaking has gone away. Now, when I get “that” feeling I know what to do with it and I have the confidence to make the appropriate move. I know I’m prepared and I’m not worried about other people’s opinions anymore. Confidence takes time, but it also takes the ability to confront adversity and things you’re afraid of over and over again so that you become comfortable with the uncomfortable.
Be True To You
It’s important to recognize the difference between lip service and actual action.
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
– Rumi
Knowing you believe in yourself is putting all of your chips on the table, going all in and betting on yourself - every time. Lip service is saying you would go all in, but then folding when someone calls your bluff. The question for you is if given the option would you bet everything you have on you, over and over again?
Knowing that you believe in who you are and what you’re doing is being ok with the consequences of your decisions. Make the wrong move and fail, no problem, you’ll figure it out. Fail miserably and fall on your face - it wasn’t so bad and it was a great opportunity. To be your own hero, you have to know that who you are is the best. It’s not that you’re cocky or that your ignorant and out of touch about who you are. It’s that you are proud and confident of the person you get to look in the mirror at every day and who you're becoming.
It also means that no longer can you conform to other people’s standards and expectations of who they think you should be. You have to get comfortable with meeting the expectations that you set for yourself and not other people's projections of who they think you should be.
Do You Value Other People’s Opinions Of You More
This is a self-reflection question for you. And it’s a hard one. It’s hard to admit to yourself that you might value other people’s opinions of you more than your opinion of yourself.
Think about the last time that you didn’t speak up in a meeting because you were afraid of what people would think of your idea. Think about the last time you didn’t wear that outfit because you weren’t sure if people would like it. Challenging other people's opinions is hard and it's scary. So often, we want to fit in with everyone else so much that in attempting to fit in, we lose ourselves.
If you have found in your self-reflection that you have lost yourself along the way, I invite you to come back to the idea of becoming your own hero.
“As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”
– Marianne Williamson
You, my friend, are marvelous. You are awesome, you are beautiful, and you are deserving. You only deserve the best, it’s up to you, however, to take it. Some will support you in your journey to love yourself and be bold in your belief of you becoming your best. Some will surprise you both in positive and negative ways, and some will ridicule you because you are breaking their idea of who they think you should be.
Whatever the case may be, embrace the support as a reminder that you are loved and deserving. And also remember that as nice as it is, it doesn’t matter. Only your opinion of you matters. The stronger that can become a belief in your core, the faster you’ll become your own hero.
The Evolution Of You
Change is hard. It can be painful, scary and a variety of other things that can lead you to tell yourself to wait, hold back, and not choose yourself to be your inspiration. But I invite you to look into your future, 6 months from now, 5 years from now and imagine what you can become by listening to your older self, choosing courage over fear and to make yourself your first priority so that you can fill yourself up, be whole and go out and share your awesomeness with the world.